Undying Light - A Dramione Story
by jacster07
Summary: Many trials and unfortunate events were brewing in the end of Draco's fifth year, and falling for Hermione was a piece of hope that kept him going. Turning from his dark upbringing, he knew he had to protect her; even if it meant taking her memory of him. As the years passed, darkness dug deeper inside of him, letting loose of the hope he once had. Would it be too late?


The chill in the air warned students of the upcoming weather change. There wasn't anyone who was more excited for the holiday break than Draco. The break, the distance, and the separation might get his mind straight. Many tasks were laid upon Draco, and only a few of them were his own doing, causing stressful days and restless nights, and being at this school was adding to it. Unfortunately, there was something, someone rather, that nagged at the back of his mind the most and it was too large to ignore even though he tried with every breath to forget about the incident.

When he closed his eyes for more than a couple of seconds he saw her. Sometimes, he would regrettably toy with the idea for a little longer and try to remember every detail of that night and then want of more grew too fast. Draco would catch himself and start to read Hogwarts: A History or finish writing an essay to keep his mind distracted. The next month was agonizing for Draco, not only because he tried his hardest to avoid her, but he was now starting to wonder what she was thinking. There were many times he convinced himself he would meet her in the Great Hall or after Potions and go over what happened and to make things clearer, but the nausea that formed left him a coward.

A week before the break, Draco snuck out of his dormitory and tried to walk off his pent up stress. Getting out of the castle was a piece of cake when everyone was passed out from their full bellies from the holiday feast and not on patrol. Once he was out in the courtyard he pulled his hood over his head and fastened his jacket tighter so the bitter snow wouldn't cut through his skin. The walk under the full moon casted shadows from all angles keeping Draco on edge. Going the opposite direction from Hagrid's hut – who had smoke coming out of his chimney – he decided to walk by the snow covered hedges lining up with outside courtyard's walls. The tunnel vision that had engulfed him, caused him to lose all awareness of his surrounds.

"Draco?" a faint whisper came from in front of him. He stopped dead in his tracks. "What are you doing out here?" He lifted his head, hoping to find a teacher or Dumbledore himself, but was rather disappointed when he had confirmed the familiar voice.

Hermione. Her perfectly untidied curls were hidden underneath a dark grey beanie and her figure just as firm as her attitude mesmerized Draco. He shook it off when she started to speak.

"You're not supposed to be out here at this time of night," she barked putting her hands on her hips, "You will get into loads of trouble if you are caught!"

Draco fought instinctively, "I am out here because I want to! What do you care if I get into trouble? I am always in trouble compared to you and your fan club!" Jealousy was erupting from Draco. He took a step forward.

She mimicked the step and replied, "If you are caught, I am caught and I don't want that!" Their voices were now above a whisper. He took a step even closer and tightened up his posture to show he wasn't backing down, even though the words in his mind were a slur. This reaction time was too slow to give a retort back. "And at least I have friends!" Hermione flung her hands in her jacket pockets and held her ground.

A sting hit Draco when he realized he was only a foot away from Hermione which caught him off guard. "Well, uh…" He started to fumble and wanted to step back, but couldn't. Then it slipped and rolled off of his tongue uncontrollably, "At least I am a pure blo…" He stopped – wide eyed – but it was too late. After the month of ignoring and avoiding, he knew that was the last thing he wanted to say to her. He couldn't bare to say it again. She swallowed hard and her face started to get red, Draco tried to fix it. His voice softer, but he stammered, "Hermione, I am…" it was harder for him to apologize.

Pride was always there for him, and unfortunately he let it control him in the worst of moments. Hermione pivoted and lost her admirable firm structure, which crushed him even more. Before he could act in enough time, she sniffed and wiped her face on her sleeve and then started to walk away.

The last thing he thought he could say spewed out, "I can't stop thinking about you." Hermione stopped and he continued, "Ever since we saw each other in the owl tower. When you're around, I don't know how to act and I can't control anything!" It all continued to flow without his consent, "Before, anger and pride controlled me whereas now, all I can envision are the little freckles on your nose and the softness of your lips, and it literally makes me nauseous… wait," He face palmed, "I mean in a… good way…" Everything he had planned to say was not how it came out and he was starting to feel his stomach come up his throat.

She turned her head a little bit back towards him and whispered, "I forgive you…" The words echoed in his mind as she left his presence and went back through the courtyard towards the castle.

Stuck in a daze, he whispered to himself, "Forgiven? No one has said that to me before…"

Nothing could slow Draco down the rest of the week. He was light on his feet and a smile ear to ear, when no one was watching. For the first time in a very long time, Draco was looking forward to his last class before everyone was dismissed for the winter break. Being in the same room as Hermione was a moment to hold onto over the break, he had to make this right and not make a fool of himself. During the entire Transfiguration class, Draco's attention was elsewhere. He tried to keep it under wraps and not be too obvious, but Hermione turned to grab something from her bag and saw Draco peering into her direction. His heart skipped and before he could shake it off, the class was over and the winter break had begun.

The impatient class trampled out of the room, leaving Draco stuck behind his desk. Something like this usually would tick Draco off, but he kept his temper under check. He took his time packing everything away and stayed a little longer in his seat and let the crowd disperse before he tried leaving the room. When he stood, he was immediately bumped making him get knocked back into his seat. He shot a glace upwards to scold his contact, but his eyes softened when it had been Hermione. Before he could speak, she released a little paper bird and it fluttered Draco's way. She then hurried back towards Potter and the obnoxious, Weasley boy.

He scrambled to catch the enchanted paper and opened it in a hurry. He read her neat handwriting:

After dinner, meet me near the hedges outside of the courtyard. – H.

Draco was ecstatic; a feeling that was very foreign to him. Even though he was scheduled to meet Crabbe and Goyle in the Common Room, he wasn't hesitant on ignoring Hermione's request. As the day grew later, his doubt started to set in deeper. _"What if she is there with her two side kick 'friends' and wants to humiliate me? She knows how I feel and will use that against me… I have to proceed with caution and not have any hesitation."_ He knew Hermione wasn't a back stabber, she was loyal to who she trusted. Did she trust Draco enough to give him loyalty and abandon her loyalty to her best friend, Harry Potter? He tried to comprehend her true motives and put together many outcomes and by the time he was in the courtyard, he failed at coming up with anything logical. Because it hadn't snowed in a couple of days, the temperature was slightly higher, however Draco felt more comfortable with his jacket hood on and hands in his pockets as he searched outside of the courtyard. He peeked around corners to make sure no one was where he was headed and he constantly turned his head behind him to make sure he wasn't being followed.

The paranoia grew inside of him as he got closer toward the hedges. To his disappointment, no one was around the corner. He would have rather had a clan of Gryffindor students standing and pointing at him than being stood up. Blood rushed hard through his veins and it was starting to be the only thing he heard as he paced up and down the stone wall. A tug on his pant leg made him jump. Searching at the ground, he found nothing except a place in the ground that was very uneven with the rest of the snow. Then he heard a call.

"Pst! Down here!" A hand suddenly became visible and grabbed onto Draco's arm and pulled him to sit down. "Here." Draco sat and fiddled with an invisible material that was starting to cover him from the world, but revealed Hermione sitting on the ground. Concern swept his face when he realized he was going to be all wet from the snow; Hermione noticed, "Oh calm down… I enchanted this area so we wouldn't get snow or water all over us. And the cloak is large enough so I am able to let it float a little above us."

"Oh, of course," he was always amazed on how much someone who doesn't have any magical background could learn and succeed in the magical world.

They both finally got situated underneath the Invisibility Cloak and sat cross legged facing each other. Both a little uncomfortable because of each other's presence, neither of them were sure where to start.

Draco took initiative, "Hermione…" her name was sweet to say, better than saying Granger, "what are we doing?" She pulled some hair from over her shoulder and started to fiddle with it without making any eye contact. "I can see you calculating. What is it?" She sighed and lowered her head and tilted her chin further away from him. He was silent and let her collect her thoughts. Draco noticed that she was not only collecting thoughts, but she was started to collect tears. He wanted nothing more than to reach over and wipe a tear from her cheek. Comfort… Draco couldn't figure out how to comfort her correctly. His father and mother were always so calloused towards each other and towards him. His mother had showed Draco her soft side only a few times. Nothing Draco had ever done was considered comforting. Before he could try, Hermione sniffed and wiped her face dry, and locked eyes with him. His throat went dry and he couldn't swallow the rock that had appeared.

"Draco," his name was soft when she said it, "this is hard for me…" she started to fiddle with her hands and the urge to hold them flowed through Draco. "You are… and I am…" A rip in Draco's heart was noticeable in his expression, "Please don't take that the wrong way, you must know what I mean." She leaned forward pleading for understanding.

He understood enough for his thoughts to run wild, "Yes. I get it." It came out colder than he intended and it upset Hermione. "What happened was not what you wanted and you don't want the memory. I won't bother you again…" Draco went to stand up, but Hermione grabbed his wrist and encouraged him to stay. Electricity ran through his body as her fingers touched his bare skin, and he really hoped what he was feeling was mutual. If she didn't feel the same way, he knew he would say what was needed to make it easier for her. "What?" He chose the more natural way, to be calloused.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "That thick skin of yours can calm down, I know when you are faking it. The thick head of yours is another story." He sighed with relief, way too loud. She giggled, Draco's heart flipped. "I mean… I am a little confused…" She was getting serious and Draco was still not getting the true meaning. "Why me?" The lack of confidence in her voice triggered Draco. "I'm not… like you."

He sat back down, but this time closer than before; their knees were now touching each other. "Why you? You are completely and 100% the most true thing I have ever laid my eyes on. There isn't a spell you can't do, you are composed all the time, and you're not afraid to say what should be said – no matter who you're saying it to." He couldn't hold it in anymore, "To be very frank and very honest," he lowered his head and lost eye contact with her, "Even though, you aren't a 'Pure Blood' you are the best witch I have ever seen… and trust me… I know of a lot of powerful people." He was a little afraid to watch her when he mentioned Pure Bloods; he knew it offended her. A small weight was lifted from his shoulders when he realized he had released some prejudices from his mind.

There was a little bit of a silence before words filled the air. "I like it when you don't wear your hood," Draco felt her fingers run through his hair when she pushed his hood off. He could tell this took a lot of courage on her part, and she was waiting for a response.

He reached for a loose a curl near her cheek bone and twirled it in between his fingers; it was ever so slightly, but he caught that her breathing had skipped. The warmth from her skin was too inviting to resist a touch. Draco slowly let the curl out from his fingers when first his finger tips touched her jaw, and without rejection from Hermione, he filled his palm with her rosy cheek. A rock formed in his throat and he couldn't swallow to speak. In that moment, he realized he didn't need words to convey how he felt. Their eyes encouraged the closeness and their hands invited more touch. She leaned into Draco's hand with safety and comfort and Draco leaned in just far enough to ask for permission to go further.

Hermione started to stammer, "Remember when we weren't expecting each other's company?" He cracked a smile. "Do you… I mean, would you want? Um…" His thumb rubbed her cheek bone and their foreheads were now resting on each other's. The smell of her sweet floral perfume was the same as that night. "You know?" Draco was highly amused watching the great Hermione Granger stumble over words, because of him no less! "When we, after we sat…" Nevertheless, he couldn't hold it in any longer.

Draco leaned close enough to Hermione, his lips were barely resting on hers. The breath he could feel of hers was keeping him afloat, but he didn't continue. Instead, he whispered, "Are you sure?" She answered by putting her hand on the back of his head and interlacing his blonde hair through her fingers and locking her lips onto his. Her touch was electrifying and her kiss gave him endless hope. He wrapped his free arm around the small of her back and pulled her into his lap to fill any empty space between them. This time, his kiss was not hasty nor sloppy. He gave everything he could into this moment, he wanted her to feel secure, safe. Then, to his surprise, she opened his lips the tiniest amount with her tongue. Even while kissing, he could feel her calculating and analyzing. Draco slowed down, offering her the reins; Hermione didn't hesitate. When their tongues met for the first time, he could feel they were both floating and using each other as an anchor.

Passion swept over them and they both forgot about their surroundings or any previous concerns and doubts. Draco released a little from Hermione and started to kiss her cheek, her jaw, and the top of her neck. She leaned outward to give Draco more area to explore. He tried to glance up at her while kissing her neck to get a visual on how she reacted to him. Her eyes were closed enjoying every bit of it; this encouraged Draco to keep going. When his lips found every spot on one side of her neck, he slowly traveled back to her lips, combed her hair with his fingers, and then moved down to the other side of her neck. Before he knew it, he was starting to kiss her collar bone. It was a little uncomfortable at first being where he was, but she seemed to enjoy that the most. He continued to kiss her softly, slowly. Heat from their bodies were now entangled and they could feel each other's emotion.

Hermione's arm loosened up from around Draco and he noticed her hand was starting to slip underneath his jacket. He went back up to kiss her lips, and started to get distracted, _"Don't get too fast… I don't want to say no to her… her breath is intoxicating! Her touch is electrifying!"_ Her hand found its way underneath his shirt and then she kept her hand there and rubbed his side. He could feel her lips slow down; she was now distracted. _"Oh, no…"_ Draco gently pulled Hermione from him but kept a slight hold on her. She refused to let go from under his shirt.

Trying to pull her hand away, discreetly, Draco mentioned, "Wow… Hermione…" Even though he was worried about the questions in her head, he couldn't hide the fact he was completely star struck.

She smiled in return, but worry covered her face, "Draco, stop. What is that?" Knowing she knew, he honestly couldn't tell her no. He sighed and lifted the left side of his jacket and shirt to show his very refined, very handsome abdomen, but on top of all that, he revealed old scars. Some were only a couple of inches long but one started from the bottom of his armpit and goes further past his waist down his hip. Goosebumps were left in the traces of her finger tips as she followed his scars. He turned away in shame and embarrassment. No one had ever seen his past this close before, and Draco was flabbergasted that Hermione was the first to experience the root of his personality. Taking a note to his shiver, Hermione lowered his shirt and jacket and kept her hand on his side. Draco kept his face turned from her.

He could feel the tension start to build as the silence grew, and Draco was worried about what to say or do. Nothing suitable came to mind. A situation such as this has never happened before and she was to precious to ruin. Logic started to settle in Draco's mind, _"It might be best not to involve her… I'm the selfish one that would drag her into the depths of darkness… then my family… they would, are, too evil."_

Warmth circled him and when he looked over, Hermione had snuggled further into Draco's lap and wrapped her arms around him then she laid her head on his chest. At first, Draco was uncertain and conflicted. Should he take this in and give anything to her or push her away and make things easier for them later down the road? Without thinking too much on the subject, his arms wrapped around her, holding her tight, and he rested his head on top of hers. Time was irrelevant to the magical couple, but nonetheless there was always an end to magical moments. They both stiffened up when they heard voices from the courtyard.

"Don't you think, it's a bit odd for her to go to the library at this time of night? Especially the night before the winter break? She needs to be back soon." Ron's voice was the opposite of quiet but full of concern. "Harry? What is it?"

Harry's voice seemed to have been right above Draco and Hermione. "Oh, Ron, stop worrying. She's a big girl, she can handle herself. She needs to watch out for Umbridge though…" His footsteps started to walk away from the two hidden under the Cloak. "Besides, what's it to you? She doesn't have to tell you everything, now does she?" Harry teased.

Ron's voice was further away, "Gosh! Harry! Nonsense… never… let her be…"

When voices and footsteps were not heard for a while, Hermione finally loosened up, however Draco did not. He tried his best to fight the feeling that was brewing inside of him, but it over boiled – just like everything else. Without control, he moved away from Hermione. He instantly shivered because of the cold.

"He has some nerve!" Draco flung his arm towards there area Ron and Harry were. "Could he be more obnoxious?" His face started to get warmer by the blood rushing to it.

Hermione became firm, "Draco Malfoy, what do you mean? They are my friends, best friends, and they know something might be suspicious. If they come looking for me, it is because they are concerned, and if I dare say so, you would think to do the same."

Draco was taken back by the tone Hermione took with him. She was stern, but compassionate. Another trait that was so appealing to Draco, something he had never experienced and she knew the perfect balance of it. Even though admiration iced over him, jealousy continued to melt through his skin.

He scoffed, "Oh, please. He wants nothing more than to be smothering and controlling towards you. That's why there are so many of those red heads running around… invading everything they touch." Draco pulled his knees to his chest and held them tightly with clenched fists. Hermione brushed back fallen hair that fell in front of his eyes. Worry flowed from her eyes to her touch.

"Please try and get some rest over the break," she whispered calmly as she moved her hand to hold his face to rub the dark circles under his eyes. "Ronald, is nothing more than a friend, along with Harry. And, well, you…" she smiled, lifting Draco's spirit, "you were unexpected and rather different, but enjoyable."

Draco held Hermione's hand, "May I write to you? Honestly, I am afraid everything will go back to the ways things were if I don't have some connection with you. You're like a…" Draco struggled with being poetic, "a great ball of light while I'm trapped in the Forbidden Forest."

Hermione took delight in this, "Of course you can, my parents won't know the difference, they are Muggles after all, but you are already aware of that." A grin escaped and carried over to Draco. "I will miss that smile… please don't lose it over the break."

As they said their goodbyes and created a plan to get back into the castle, they found their ways back to their Common Room, unnoticed. Draco came to an empty and cool Common Room; the fire was now only coals and the stone walls radiated with the chill from outside. Draco fell on the couch and wanted to replay everything that had happened. Joy ran through him keeping him wildly awake and full of passion. He grabbed a scrap piece of paper on the end table and the nearest quill and ink and began to write. He filled the letter with everything he wanted to say to Hermione, but never mustered up the courage to do so. Moving onto the back and before he could finish a sentence, the sound of steps jogging down the stairs interrupted the thought. Quickly, Draco jammed the letter into his jacket pocket.

Goyle entered panting, "Oh! Draco! You finally arrived!" He was a bit sarcastic. "It's not like we had plans or anything." He was now next to Draco at the couch. "What are you hiding?" Goyle pointed to Draco's pocket.

Draco stood ignoring his question, "Listen Goyle, I had to take care of something," Draco pulled out his wand intimidatingly, "And if you ask me, it was well worth it!" A fake laugh came out of Draco but Goyle believed it.

"Oh! You messed something up with Potter? Or did you have another meeting with your father and some of his…" He whispered the last part, "friends?" Goyle was eager to gain as much information as possible about the Malfoy's family friends.

Draco put his arm around Goyle and walked him to the stairs, "I will know more after the break. Now, I am going to bed. You should do the same." He was easily in charge and dominating. Two descriptions that made Draco feel comfortable and wanting to do more of it. No matter how much he thought of how Hermione made him feel, he enjoyed being in charge and authoritative way too much. He could feel the distance that was starting to grow between him and his light.

The winter break dragged on and the Malfoy Manor was in a continual frenzy. Draco wanted to find time to write more to Hermione, however he was a little peeved there were very few that made it to him. Once he stopped receiving letters from her for weeks, Draco kept his mind on something other than pining over a girl, especially Hermione Granger. Many strangers and friends of the Malfoys were in and out the Manor multiple times a week. Draco wanted to please his family, his father especially, by doing what was correct in their eyes. His mother was the only one to mention Draco's distant mind during the winter break.

"It's nothing, mother. Honest." Draco lied through his teeth. He couldn't tell her about the minimal change in his heart, because it would change everything drastically.

Draco's mother stood in front of a mirror that hung in the foyer, "Well, if you say so." She could feel the tension, and kept an eye on him from the reflection of the mirror, "You know this task is important. It will give your family good graces to those around us." Draco leaned against the wall, with hands in his pockets. He wore a black thin fitting suit with pointed black shoes, and his hair was slicked back. She turned and tightened up his tie, "We all have secrets, Dumbledore has many that we all need to know, for our safety. Your safety." Draco searched his mother's eyes for approval, she continued, "My dear boy, follow the instruction of Professor Umbridge and you will be… content."

They both knew he would not be happy with this task, but it was the only path for him right now. After examining Draco and making she he held no flaw, she dismissed him and he strolled outside. Draco wasn't aware of the true consequences of any disobedience by his family, but fear was still the thorny vines that was still rooted deep within him. While walking through the garden, the brisk wind blew stray hairs out of place. Down the path a ways, a stone bench invited him to rest and he began to observing the hedges. They reminded him of his time with Hermione, and how he wanted to share his garden with her. With the way events are turning out, they would never be able to be together. If only things were different and if only he was in charge of his own life. Draco felt as if he was a puppet tied to a ventriloquist, and no matter what he was being pulled in the opposite direction of his own doing.

A screech of an owl disrupted his melancholy thought. When he found the owl trying to fly straight, he stood in anticipation. Could this finally be from Hermione? The owl was very peculiar; the wind was not strong at all, but this creature had the worst time trying to stay afloat. When the bench was in landing view of the bird, it decided to crash land into a hedge past Draco. The bird flapped and became upright and kept hopping on one foot. Bending down, Draco noticed a letter attached to this brown owl. His wide eyes were eagerly staring at Draco awaiting to be free. The note was rolled up and tied with a thin gold ribbon. Before opening it, Draco searched and made sure he was alone, and when he was sure, he sat down on the stone cold bench and unrolled the letter. The foreign feeling of joy consumed him as he read the perfect penmanship.

Again, I'm sorry to keep bothering you, but I just needed to make sure you are alright. Many strange things and sightings have been made on my end, and I can only imagine what it's been like for you! Please, any sign of your well being would be greatly appreciated. I know it will be very risky, but I need to see and talk to you on the train tomorrow; I have some… news. I would say everything is ok, but it isn't. I don't want to lie to you. Again, I am sorry to have written to you for what seems like every week, but I am just worried for you.

p.s. please ignore the loaf of an owl… I think he belongs to Percy, but I needed something quicker and Crookshanks will only do anything if it's annoying. -HG

Many thoughts raced through Draco's mind. _"Once a week? Where have these letters been? Has someone taken them before me? She cares for me this much or does she act this way towards Weasley and Potter as well? Is she with them now? I hope she didn't hear about the mayhem at the ministry… or was involved with that… my father is still on trial."_ He was worried for Hermione and worried for his father, however they were both a different type of worry. The sun came from around the clouds raising the temperature ever so slightly. Draco could feel the air warm up, but it was comforting; he was tired of being cold and seeing everything so dreary. That was where he was certain Hermione would come in handy, however he had to focus. He was thrilled by her letter, but needed to follow the path that was bestowed up on him. Hermione wouldn't understand…neither will her friends let her. All of what Draco needed to do for his family had to come as a secret. Fear encased his mind on the possibility of failure. Death Eaters were covering the house the whole break and watching his family every moment they had the chance. Having Professor Umbridge at the school was not making anything any easier. Even though he was excited about pushing around those beneath him, he still wanted to be careful and not hurt Hermione in the process.

The owl startled Draco as it tried to take lift off pathetically, bringing Draco back down to Earth. He repeated the plan that was given to him by his mother and only needed to focus. He turned and studied his magnificent house, the Malfoy Manor, for any piece of comfort. It was two stories tall, with a heavily used attic and a terrifying basement that was rarely visited by Draco, on purpose. He shuddered when he thought about the times his father would drag him by the collar and lock him in the basement and allow their evil house elf to whip at him. His mother was never dramatic, however she was always stern with his father about lessening the time Draco was sentenced down there. Draco respected his mother, but was always unaware about how she really felt towards him. He always got what he wanted, but nothing ever filled the void that grew inside of him the past couple of years, until Hermione.

He wanted to share his life with her and show her the Grand Hall that was in the back of the first floor, or the artifact room and all of what was displayed in it on the second floor. The want of her to be here ate at Draco, because he knew it would never be possible. The most Pureblood family would never accept a witch like Hermione into their home as a guest, let alone be a part of their family. Draco agreed that magic users should have history intertwined with magical ancestors, it was installed into him at a very young age. Hermione had clouded his pure judgement and created doubt for him; something that made all of the upcoming events even harder for him to understand or comply with.

The last half of his fifth year was already mapped out for him. Professor Umbridge and Professor Snape were to keep an eye on him to make sure he was following the plan, neither of them knowing about the other. Draco was to continue his prefect duties and join the Inquisitorial Squad to keep a closer look on the school. Both things he did take pride in, however Draco didn't want it to be wrong choice. The scars on his side started to tingle as a brisk chill raced through his skin as the wind blew. Notes were mentally created of what to say to Hermione on the train and how he could talk to her unnoticed. Maybe she would use the Invisibility Cloak again or just enchant everyone not to notice. Draco played through failed attempts in his mind as the day grew darker. He never saw a fortunate ending which only led to anxiety and restlessness the night before the train ride back to the wretched school.

Draco found himself with very mixed emotions while stepping onto the train. He purposely got on the front of the train and walked back to where the rest of the Slytherins were so he could possibly catch a glimpse of Hermione's plan. Whatever plan it might be, Draco believed it was a logical, thought out and devised plan because it came from Hermione herself. Playing the list of what he wanted to say in his mind kept his vision tunneled. He managed to bump into some Hufflepuffs and started to argue that it was their fault and spatting out negative retorts to those in mixed company because they cut him off from jumping from cab to cab; his regular foul mood was returning and it was comfortable and easy to maintain. While being discreet, he wanted to find Harry and Ron to see if Hermione would be there and if she was at least she would know why he truly stopped by.

A crowd dispersed and then he spotted Harry entering a cab. Draco quickly caught up with him, "Eh, Potter," Draco poked his head in to find Harry alone, "uh... have any other strange plans to destroy families?" He only said this out of suspicion because of his father's dealings at the Ministry of Magic. Why would Harry not be a part of it? Harry is always at the wrong place at the wrong time, but always benefited from it. Draco scowled as Harry eye rolled.

"Buzz off Draco! I'm surprised you even had the guts to come back to school!"

Before Draco could puff out his chest even more, the trolley of goodies came between them. Draco pushed his way through and continued down the train. He now decided to find a seat hoping his blood pumping and clenched fists would ease up. He found an empty cab and threw his brief case and jacket in the seat. When he began to slam the door shut, a loud whistle came from the front of the car and then green smoke bombs popped rapidly causing chaos. As he investigated the confusion, he was bumped into and something pushed through his arm and into his cab. The door slung closed and then a head with messy curls became visible.

Draco looked back at the door to make sure it was locked and then back at Hermione. "Was that your doing?" He asked impressively with a small grin.

Her grin grew along with his, "I needed to make sure no one saw us. It's still very, very rare, unlikely even, that we should be seen together." Draco knew this was true and agreed, however it was still hurtful to hear. While Hermione was getting settled in his cab, he found himself instantly realizing what needed to be done, he wanted nothing but the best for Hermione. The want and need to protect her was overpowering everything he selfishly wanted, he knew he needed to let her go.

Missing Draco's analyzation on her, Hermione spoke up, "I'm sorry if I boggled you down with so many letters. Your replies started to dwindle down, when everything was happening at the Ministry of Magic and everyone was in chaos over…" she whispered, "Death Eaters." Draco noticed she was trying to be sensitive for his sake; another reason to let her go. She became fidgety and then jumped at Draco and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Draco, I was so worried that something had happened to you… when I saw your father and all of the Death Eaters…" He pulled her away. "Did you… not know?" She was holding back her tears, trying to be strong for him.

Draco pulled her close again, knowing what he was about to say would be too painful to look at, "Well… I had my suspicions. But…" He laid his head on hers and held back his own tears, "Hermione, because of what is happening… we cannot…" the words held onto his throat and wouldn't come up. It didn't get any easier when Draco felt Hermione dig her face in his chest and started to cry. "Your letters rarely got to me, the mishap at the Ministry, and the chaos now at the school… I am too much involved with it where we can't be involved with each other…" he held her close, rubbing her back. "Shh… you need to understand…"

Hermione loosened her grip and lost the scent of a spice he had on. She cleaned her face with a hand towel she pulled from her bag, and when she put it away, she pulled out a sealed letter with the letters D. M. engraved on the front. She fiddled with it, "Oh, Draco… I fully understand. I hate how it has to be… that's why I wrote this…" He attempted to take it, but she refused. She knew handing it over, would surely be the end. She took a deep breath, "When I give this to you… you must promise me… promise me you will do what you think is right… no matter who tells you what to do, I know you have the strength to do what is right… for you." Draco felt as if Hermione knew exactly what was asked of him.

"That's where you're wrong, Hermione, for the first time. I am doing everything," he pulls his wand out of the inside pocket of his vest, "for you…" They both know what needed to happen, but Draco started to get weak in the knees and started to doubt. Hermione's sweet soft voice brought him back.

"It's ok…" she took a hold of his hand holding his wand, "when the world is ready for us to be together and when you are out of danger, I will always come back to you." She handed him the note and he reached for it with his free hand, "Read it when there is no more light, and when you can't find your way back. I hope it will give you courage and love."

In that moment, he knew how to comfort her, "Hermione Granger, I love you." He wrapped her up in his arms for the last time and kissed her passionately. He could feel how she went limp to his touch and he wanted nothing more than to freeze time and stay in this cab for evermore.

She slightly pulled back and positioned his wand in front of her. "I love you too, Draco Malfoy." He heard these words echo and replay in his head as tears started to form and roll down his cheeks. She grabbed her bag and walked towards the cabin door, and nodded.

Draco pointed his wand at her, and whimpered, "Obliviate…" with a small twist of his wrist, Hermione's tears ceased and she blinked in confusion. He wiped his face clean before she realized he was crying. Then, a different Hermione stood in front of him. "Excuse me… this is my cabin, Granger." It was strange calling her that, but that's what this Hermione knew.

Hermione scoffed, "You don't have to be so rude all the time… I will leave…" There was hesitation, but Draco heard the disgust that was in her tone. As she exited the cab and closed the door behind her, Draco fell onto the cab seat and held his crying face in his hands. Long after Hermione had left Draco's cab, he sat alone and kept his stare outside the moving objects past the icy window of the Hogwarts Express. Without Hermione's company or the knowing of her being there in the future left Draco in a pit of worry. The moral compass he was getting used to was now taken from him, and the growth of bitterness was overbearing.

The end of the year had caused more problems than solutions and Draco despite feeling the instant satisfaction, he quickly felt the repercussion of his settling consequences. It took months, but Draco was able to push back any happy and worthy memory of Hermione and their time together, which only created the corruption inside of him to replant itself. Darkness was already in place and overflowing the lands of the wizarding world. Draco started to believe that he was the only one that could bring his family back into good graces with the Dark Lord. Draco needed to participate in many dark deeds, some requested by the Dark Lord himself. Draco continued to blame others, especially Harry Potter, for his misfortunes and he continued to dig deeper into the black hole residing deep within him.

Draco was calloused and filled with malice by his sixth year at Hogwarts. The moment his judgment began to lapse for Hermione, he wrongly diagnosed the nausea he felt as being a betrayal to Purebloods. Time past and everyone started to notice he frequently skipped class, slipped out of the dining hall too early to have eaten a full and proper meal, or disappear from the grounds entirely. Many teachers noticed his absence and the decline in his grades, but they were afraid of the repercussions from his family to ever say anything. Innocent people continued to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and many fingers were pointed towards Draco. Weight and energy loss kept Draco defenseless when it came to any accusatory actions, even when it came from a quick duel from Harry Potter.

When Harry whipped his wand at Draco and yelled, "Sectumsempra!" Draco fell to his knees, then to the ground whimpering, tears rolling down his cheeks. Slices of flesh started to open and spew blood and pain covering Draco's body; he laid there on the bathroom floor defenseless and hopeless. Harry was stunned and at a loss; there was an uncertainty of the spell, and he was now certain it was darker than he had imagined. As Professor Snape and other teachers came to Draco's aid in the nick of time, there was a glint of his future and Hermione was the only thing he pictured before he blacked out.

The war brought many terrible deeds and fights that would scar many people. Helpless and overwhelmed with regret and disgust, Draco couldn't do any more than tremble in the presence of so many of his fellow Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. Reviewing his actions and contemplating on how to get out of the mess he was in, he was pacing throughout the library of his house, when he heard a shout from the foyer. A shudder ran through him when he heard it was his name being called out by his aunt, Bellatrix. He took a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pants pocket, but there was something crumbled at the bottom of his pocket. Before he could pull it out and see what it was, Bellatrix hollered for him again, this time more impatient.

When he got to the Great Hall, he immediately recognized Harry Potter on his knees begin held by his hair to keep still. Draco searched the room with horror; snatchers and Narcissa were surrounding Ron and Hermione with wands held at them. Fighting the urge to hex the snatchers off of Hermione, Draco turned towards Harry so he wouldn't have to look at her.

"WELL Draco? IS it him?" Bellatrix's crazy gaze bounced from Harry to Draco. She then pulled Draco closer to Harry's welted face, "Tell me! We need confirmation for the Dark Lord!" The shudder went through him as he nodded in denial. "Throw them in the basement!"

Draco hurried off towards the Library before anyone could catch the tears falling from his swollen eyes. The first betrayal and he was completely torn. The crumbled object in his pocket distracted him again, but this time he was able to get it pulled out. He pulled back his tears and dried his cheeks and started to unravel the crumbled note. Then, a high pitched scream and cry came from the Great Hall; the note was pushed back down into his pocket.

"Please! Stop! I don't know….AH!" Draco's heart sank, it was Hermione. "STOP! Please!" Without warning Draco pulled his wand out and busted out of the library, but when he was about to turn the corner he saw Bellatrix… using the Cruciatus curse, carving something into Hermione's arm. He needed to stop her and help Hermione, but when his forearm started itch he was reminded which side he was on… Even Hermione couldn't be his solution now.

The war finally came to Hogwarts and towards the end of hope, everyone centered around Lord Voldermort and Harry Potter's body, motionless on the ground. First, the Malfoy's were brought out celebrated and the hatred flowing in Draco's veins gave him the movement towards Lord Voldermort. Everyone saw the step he unwillingly took, and from then on it was branded in him to be on the dark side. As he peered through the hopeless crowd and rumble of the school, he spotted her. Hermione standing directly behind Lord Voldemort hanging onto Ron's arm weeping. Mixed emotions flowed through Draco and fueled his actions; he pictured himself walking towards Hermione to console her, but instead he was at arm's length with the Dark Lord. Trembling and fearful, Draco was awkwardly pulled in by the most powerful scheming snake the world has ever seen. All Draco wanted to do was vomit, but nerves and heaviness prevented him from doing so. The most hurtful part of the night, was witnessing the disgust and hurt that was across Hermione's face as she turned and rejected the sight of Draco and Lord Voldermort hugging.

After many fortunate and unfortunate deaths, the final battle at Hogwarts came to an end. All death eaters and associations with the Dark Lord were captured or quickly escaped and avoided Azkaban. Draco fled into the school to search for Hermione. In the distance, Draco found the Trio huddled together on the bridge. He decided to stay hidden, but wanted desperately to get Hermione's attention and hug her passionately. Draco was terrified by how people will acknowledge him now. They witnessed his betrayal to Dumbledore and his army by getting…hugged…by Voldermort, but only some saw he changed sides in the end. He zipped up his jacket and sat down under a caved in roof and tried to enjoy the breeze. His hands found their way messing with paper in his pocket. _"How can this be that same crumbled up piece of paper? That was long ago and in my pants pocket… not my jacket…"_ Then his heart skipped, a feeling of joy sparked inside of him. Something so foreign he was barely able to recognize what the feeling was. He rubbed the paper, contemplating on what else it could be before pulling it out.

The letter had D. M. on the front and there were many creases. For the first time in years he remembered his last kiss with Hermione and what he had to do to keep her safe. The wind blew his already messed up hair around and he recognized that he had finally started to feel lighter. The war was over…Hermione was still alive…the hope of them being together rested well in Draco's mind. When he was ready, he torn the letter open:

**_My dearest Draco,_**

**_There are many things that will happen and I don't want to stand in the way of you and your family. No matter whose family it is, they still hold some importance to us. I am unsure of what the future will hold or how dangerous it will be, but always know you are your own person. Your father's actions are not your own and those who force you to do something out of fear is not your fault. Please know that I see the true potential you have to do good, and I know when I see you do it, I will remember us and who you truly are. There is hurt and agony inside of you and I hope you live a life where you don't let it control you._**

**_I will remember you, always._**

**_Yours truly,_**

**_Hermione_**

Draco wanted nothing more than to express the joy and hope that was blossoming inside of him, but he still knew he couldn't. The world wasn't ready and Hermione was still lost and Draco couldn't bare to let anything happen to her, especially now. Feeling exhausted, Draco leaned his head back on the wall behind him and closed his eyes. He knew he couldn't stay to rest long, but it had been a long time since he didn't have to worry about any more evil around him.

He shot up and stumbled forward when he heard his name, "eh, Malfoy! Hope you slip and fall!" Ron yelled out as Harry held him back. The three of them were headed back toward the castle, but Hermione lingered behind. Draco didn't have the energy to give any retorts, but decided to walk the opposite way to avoid any more conflict. He wanted to stay away from the setting of the most horrific event that ended shortly before.

He stopped in his tracks, "Um, Draco?" Hermione's voice was familiar, it reminded him of the first night she caught him by the hedges. "Can I ask you something?" He couldn't turn to look at her; the memories of her screaming were too fresh in his mind. Regret of not intervening made his skin crawl. She took his silence as permission, "What made you change sides?" For the first time in her life, Hermione had asked a question without knowing what the answer might be. This made Draco crack a smile.

Without a thought, Draco turned and locked eyes with her and pointedly responded, "I kept my eyes on the light that never went out."

Hermione cocked her head to the side and blinked, "Draco?" He heard her calculating tone, but it was very meaningful and recognizable to him.

He brushed his hair back from his face and the tiniest grin broke through as he whispered, "Finally."

Many trials and unfortunate events were brewing in the end of Draco's fifth year, and falling for Hermione was the little bit of hope that kept him going. Growing and learning from a young age to be selfish and proud, he learned quickly to turn from his roots to protect her; even if it meant losing her memory of him. As the years passed, darkness dug deeper inside of him, and then when he thought he lost all hope, he saw a glint of it, shining like a light in a dark forest.


End file.
